In our overwhelming and oversaturated media market, there are so many emerging pop stars, it’s nearly impossible to keep track of them all. What’s this catchy new song trending on TikTok? Who’s this fierce young diva on my Spotify Discover Weekly? Why have I never heard of this random famous woman who is suddenly shimmying across every single one of my screens? Don’t worry, this handy guide breaks down the newest generation of inescapable pop girlies.
Fill up your Stanley cups and settle in for Millie Nimble serenading you with her relatable single “Heartbroken & Single & Loving Myself,” which proves that literally no one has ever sung about being twentysomething before. She’s selling out stadiums and taking private jets, all with a sweet expression on her face that screams “I’m a regular, normal girl, just like you!” Be careful not to think negative thoughts about her, though, or you might get doxed by her thirteen-year-old fanbase.
Calling all girls, gays, and theys: mother has arrived! Miss Mamas Divatron is slaying the house down boots with her new EP “Kitty Kitty Purr Kitty Cat Cat Cow.” Catch her stomping across the stage as the third-billed act at your local Pride festival. Does the gay community genuinely stan her, or is she an ironic obsession? Either way, you’ll gag for her fierce slay serve!
Listen closely, sweetie. No, really, you’ll need absolute silence to hear the queen of musical mumblecore, Whispurr. Who cares what she’s singing when you’re vibing to her barely audible breakout hit, “Tell Me You Love Me (as Quietly as Humanly Possible)(Breakcore Remix).” Hush hush and turn up at the club to her soft-spoken bops!
Mix one part SZA, two parts Ariana Grande, and three parts Beyoncé to get this tech-crafted diva! Alga Rhythm is the world’s first A.I.-generated pop star—a genius collaboration between Interscope Records and Google’s surveillance division. According to your data and personal information, you’ll love her new single “Chill R. & B. Song to Listen to in the Car and/or Plane (in Partnership with Airbnb).”
Where did this pop girlie come from, and why does her name sound vaguely familiar? Dance to the perfectly fine tunes of Paige Ola! Sure, she’s the granddaughter of a despicable oil tycoon, but she can actually sing, kinda! You may also recognize her in the latest trending Netflix miniseries and on TikTok promoting her new petroleum-based skin-care line.
Take a vibey snooze with Yäwn. Her nostalgia-infused single “Disco Nap” is the perfect club lullaby. It’s giving seventies (but with absolutely none of the cocaine). She answers the age-old question, “What if Donna Summer made background music for Walgreens?” Cuddle up and travel back in time to Studio Fifty-Snore! ♦
